Shady Characters

‘FIFTY SHADES OF GREY’ TRAILER REVIEW

In a film adaptation of the best-selling novel, naive college student Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) meets Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan), a young, successful business executive. Despite her inexperience and his, as he says, “singular” tastes, the two are drawn to each other and begin a passionate affair. The books often are ridiculed for their poor writing — and we can’t help but think the movie looks a little silly, especially after we read a couple lines of dialogue from the book.

Fifty Shades of Grey opens in wide release Feb. 13. >>

JAIMIE: (laughs) Is this movie for real? What did we just watch? My mind is completely blown. How is someone making millions off of this?

PAIGE: The book was really popular.

JAIMIE: I know, but why?

NICOLE: (Christian Grey) is kind of a sick freak.

CHRISTINA: Well, even though this looks pretty bad, I bet a lot of people will go see it, since everyone who read the books will probably go.

JAIMIE: But there are so many more thought-provoking books that have been made into movies.

CHRISTINA: But people often want some sort of escapism in their entertainment. You don’t want to necessarily have to think every time you watch a movie.

PAIGE: If you’re going to read smut, it has to be good smut.

CHRISTINA: I just think that it is super unrealistic that this guy is supposed to be 27 years old and that’s his lifestyle and he owns his own company. I thought he was supposed to be way older.

NICOLE: His family is rich.

JAIMIE: Aren’t there three of these books?

NICOLE: I didn’t read the other two, because it was so creepy.

PAIGE: Originally it was supposed to be Twilight fanfiction, but the author just changed the names from Edward and Bella to Christian and Anastasia.

CHRISTINA: Also, who is this girl (Johnson)? She looks like she is just trying to be Alexis Bledel.

PAIGE: I find it very unrealistic when people say things like, “Oh, I am so plain,” but they still look like a normal Hollywood person. It was like trying to believe that Hermione in the Harry Potter movies was ugly.

JAIMIE: Well, we know where all of the lonely hearts on Valentine’s Day will be.

PAIGE: But there is supposedly not any graphic sex in the movie, and that is the whole point of the book. Someone gave me one of the books as a joke. The book is badly written, but it’s graphic.

JAMES: I’ve got some lines from the book here. “His voice is warm and husky, like dark melted chocolate …”

NICOLE: How is chocolate husky?

JAMES: “… I feel the color in my cheeks rising again. I must be the color of the Communist Manifesto. I can almost hear his sphinx-like smile through the phone.”

JAIMIE: Does anyone else feel disillusioned that this woman has made a lot of money and we are sitting around this table talking about her stupid movie?

CHRISTINA: Was the book really even that risque?

NICOLE: I would say yeah. If I saw my daughter reading it, I would put her in the basement.

JAIMIE: Why? Because of the sex?

PAIGE: No, I would just think that my daughter could read a better book.

NICOLE: Christian Grey makes her think that if she does what he says, he will change and love her forever. That is messed up.

JAMES: And then she gets disillusioned in the end, right?

NICOLE: No, they fall in love.

JAMES: So they walk the baby in the stroller … ?

JAIMIE: Or they handcuff themselves to the stroller.