Nowhere to Run


So I posted a photo on my Facebook of one of my hot girlfriends and me pretending to kiss in a photo booth. I never know how to make fun poses in those things — as soon as the “ready!” starts blinking, I’m like a deer in headlights — but this pose was super cute, and I felt confident enough that I could post it to my wall to demonstrate how fun and cute we are.

It definitely got a lot of likes and comments, until my mom crashed the party.

“Are you gay? I always told your sister I thought that you might be,” posts my mom.

The next time I log on, it’s to a bombardment of comments from everyone getting even more embarrassing, as they all are laughing at me and “CW’s mom.”

“CW is DEFINITELY not gay,” posts a male friend, making it sound even worse.

That was the defining moment for me. I was done with Facebook. There were a few other instances that put the nail in the coffin, one of which was the former president of my company asking me if I still worked for Young’s Market “because I see your Facebook posts.” I mean, that is supposed to be for leisure time, not an extension of your day job. No?

Well, since then I’ve been able to figure out the best place to hide but still share, where you don’t have to worry (just yet) about your mom or your boss lurking. No, it’s definitely not Instagram. It’s Snapchat.

Snapchat is the No. 1 Millennial app, with 71 percent of its users under 25 years old and 70 percent of its users female. What I love about it is it’s a lot harder to be anything but yourself. People can post whatever they want to be on Facebook and Instagram, but Snapchat is the realness. If you’ve already downloaded Snapchat but aren’t really into it, then you’re doing it wrong. Trust me, this is the most addictive app that exists currently. But it only works if you are using it correctly.

To get the most out of this app, start posting to your story. Take cute videos, take photos, draw on them, time them (not too long!), swipe left to include the temperature or time of day or swipe right to change the filter, and keep adding and adding to your story all day.

You are creating a little window to your life. A little reality TV show on our smart phones. Of you! Now you can watch all of your friends. It’s like peeking into their lives.

A few things I notice people doing that they shouldn’t: Don’t send the same message privately that you are already posting to your story. You will soon be like the little friend who cried wolf, and nobody will open your direct messages. Just post to your story all day. Save the private messages for things that really are private. At the end of the day (and the best time to look through everyone’s stories), it becomes one long, awesome narrative of you. You, with whom we are all obsessed.

My favorite part is you can look back through your own story, too. See what you’ve been doing. In case you forgot. It’s also pretty cool to have such unabridged access to some major celebrities, who also love to share their stories. I got to preview Felix Cartal’s new EP, go on tour with The Knocks, and even have a back-and-forth dialogue with Goldroom. There are quite a few famous people on there, and if you can get their attention through cute direct messages, they will be your (Internet) friend for life. It’s pretty easy to get their attention, too; it’s Hawaii. Everything we do and see is beautiful and amazing to people who don’t live here. Why not share that?

For now, it’s a social media safe haven. I’m just hoping we have somewhere else to hide after this one blows up.


Christa Wittmier is “SUPERCW” on pretty much all social media. Find her on Snapchat, Soundcloud, Twitter, Vine, and, of course, Instagram. By night, she is known as DJ SuperCW and as the pool party queen, running the Bacardi Pool Party and the Grey Goose Dayclub. By day, she is known as the senior marketing director for Young’s Market Company of Hawaii.