Going For The Gold

‘BLACK SEA’ TRAILER REVIEW BY METRO CREW

Desperate for money after losing their jobs, a submarine captain and his former crew go on a journey to find a ship they hear is filled with gold. But to increase their shares of the treasure, they begin to turn on one another. Black Sea looks similar to other heist movies — save for the fact that it all takes place in a tight space in the depths of the ocean. We’re not sure if that is more or less exciting. We got pretty off-topic, but at least we know who would turn on the group if we ever get involved in a heist. Black Sea opens Jan. 23 in wide release. >>

JAIMIE: So, this looks like a less funny version of Ocean’s Eleven. And The Italian Job.

JAMES: How was Jude Law’s accent? He was slipping in and out of that Scottish accent.

JAIMIE: I would probably not watch this.

PAIGE: But, Jude Law! He was so beautiful 10 years ago.

NICOLE: He looks really old.

PAIGE: He’s just so beautiful that they had to take it all away as cruelly as they could.

JAMES: He plays a lot of roles like that — he was in Road To Perdition and he played that creepy guy.

CHRISTINA: Wasn’t he in The Talented Mr. Ripley?

PAIGE: Yes! He was the beautiful guy that Matt Damon…

CHRISTINA: You love Jude Law.

PAIGE: But then Matt Damon killed him and took his identity and …

JAMES: And then you turned the movie off.

JAIMIE: I never got into Jude Law. Didn’t a lot of people hate him because he cheated on his wife with Sienna Miller?

CHRISTINA: No, I think he cheated on Sienna Miller with his nanny. What is it with dudes in Hollywood getting with their nannies?

JAMES: The plot seems pretty straightforward. They go to get some gold and that is about it.

JAIMIE: And then he wants to kill them off one by one and take all of their money.

NICOLE: That is one of my biggest fears, though — dying by drowning.

PAIGE: Now that the Jude Law euphoria has kind of worn off, I realize it looks like a boring movie.

JAIMIE: It reminded me of The Italian Job. I would rather watch The Italian Job.

JAMES: Or Three Kings.

PAIGE: Or any heist movie.

JAIMIE: Heist movies are best when they are comedic. They should just all die in the submarine. And that would be the prequel to The Italian Job. Because they find the gold in the ocean.

CHRISTINA: The Italian Job wasn’t really that good of a heist movie, though. What is awesome about heist movies is when they plan it, and then you see that whole plan play out. But in The Italian Job, they had to change the plan and do something different than what they were working toward the whole rest of the movie.

NICOLE: If you were to do a heist and kill everyone, that is just bad karma. And then you probably would end up killing yourself.

CHRISTINA: If you are the kind of person who would do that, you probably wouldn’t feel that bad about it. You would probably just be like, “I have all this money. That’s awesome. Good for me.”

NICOLE: If we found gold, I wouldn’t kill you guys. I would share my wealth.

CHRISTINA: Seriously. Why are they so greedy?

PAIGE: Because they could have more money.

CHRISTINA: It sounds like Paige would kill us all.

PAIGE: No, if we pulled a heist, I wouldn’t kill you. I am just saying, what if I had to share $4 million with (our co-worker)? What did he contribute to this plan? That is how the seeds of betrayal start: You think, “why do I have to share my money with this person?” And then the next thing you know, you have killed everyone.