Reel-View Ratings: The Bigger The Beard, The Better The Movie

DIL DHADAKNE DO

A Turkish cruise is certainly a picturesque way to set up Bollywood-style familial chaos. The Mehra clan — secrets, drama and talking dog in tow — head off on a cruise obstinately to celebrate the 30th anniversary of father Kamal and mother Neelam, but the couple is unhappy, their grown-up children are unhappy, and even the family business is coming apart at the seams. Luckily, this is still a comedy, so you know things will work out, kind of. On the other hand, the various subplots are rushed and uneven — especially since the movie crawls along for nearly three hours with endless, useless (albeit pretty) shots of the glittering blue sea.

Plays at 7 p.m. Jan. 15 at Doris Duke Theatre

MOONWALKERS

This freewheeling movie wants to be a lot of things: a jaunty historical what-if remix (positing that the moon landing was a fraud, directed by Stanley Kubrick … almost), an ultra-violent Guy Ritchie homage (early Ritchie, anyway) and a stoner comedy of the first degree (well, all kinds of drugs, really). But enthusiasm is not indicative of success because this movie is just a mess. Ron Perlman is the traumatized ‘Nam vet who is recruited to track down Kubrick for the hoax, only to get involved with a less morally upright Ron Weasley and a wholly different kind of fraud. The movie glimmers occasionally with potential, but it’s mostly a swirl of not-very-funny-but-very-violent happenstances.

Opens Jan. 15 in wide release

SUNSHINE ON LEITH

Two Scottish soldiers finish a tour in Afghanistan and return to their hometown of Leith, ready to resume (or begin) relationships with their sweethearts. Domestic chaos ensues, a la Mamma Mia!, in which folk rockers The Proclaimers substitute for the ‘80s charm of ABBA. The result is a swirl of homey, buttery joy; everything is steadily pushing toward a cheerful conclusion (though not without some darker albeit predictable plot bumps). Sometimes the film is too slow; sometimes it grates on the nerves. But it’s a musical at heart, and this is one that performs gamely for its specifically Scottish audience. Perhaps Americans just don’t fully understand.

Plays 2:30 and 9:30 p.m. Jan. 15 and 5 p.m. Jan. 18 at the Movie Museum