Reel-View Ratings: The Bigger The Beard, The Better The Movie

CRIMINAL

This star-studded (and coincidentally DC superhero-packed) crime drama goes wildly, weirdly off the rails — and fast. A dead CIA agent’s (Ryan Reynolds) vital memories are planted, via a radical, implausible brain surgery, into a sociopathic death-row inmate (Kevin Costner). Naturally this guinea pig doesn’t really remember any crucial spy data, but he does instantly become a badass assassin and remember the wife that isn’t his (Gal Gadot). Drama ensues, kind of. The main problem is that these talented actors have nothing to work with in this lackadaisical script, which gives them neither a coherent plot nor anything sensible to say. The one thing this hot mess does get right? Frenetic, bloody gun fights.

Opened April 15 in wide release

SUPERCONDRIAQUE

A hypochondriac finds himself seeking medical attention for every little thing — a stray cough, a single sniffle — until his exasperated doctor suggests that maybe he’s really just lonely and prescribes finding a girlfriend. It’s a premise with potential, with some amusing early gags about germs, but unfortunately this French flick decides to leap headfirst into an unfunny case of political refugees, mistaken identity and violence. What happened to the movie we walked in here to see? Plot twists are par for the course in film, but this is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde — and even less funny.

Plays at 1:45 p.m. April 24, and 11:30 a.m., 4:15 and 6:15 p.m. April 28 at the Movie Museum