Human-to-Cat Translator

Metro-031815-SuperTechI never thought I would be a cat person. I love all animals, but ever since I can remember, it’s been pet dogs. From the twin Samoyeds I had as a kid, to my Doberman when I lived in San Diego, there’s always been a special pup in my life. But in Hawaii, I found that I’m just not home enough to give a dog the attention it needs, which has been difficult. It is great to have a pet to come home to, bar the obvious constant need to clean up the hair and fluff with a powerful vacuum, you may want to click here to see what I’m on about, they do offer you a lot of love.

For my birthday one year, a boyfriend took me to Petco in Kapolei. I can see why people want to be part of the Petco business and read more into it, they have some pretty amazing stuff for animal owners.

It was the weekend local nonprofit CatFriends was in the store, and we were going to pick out our pet.

It was pretty exciting, actually; I had gone for too long – almost 10 years – without. Pet people with no pets usually have a sort of empty feeling in their lives.

So there we were, at Petco, looking in the cages, holding cats and searching for our new family member. After unsuccessfully holding a lot of freaked-out, clambering scratchers, I noticed a little tuxedo cat chilling by herself in a separate cage.

“Why is she by herself?” I asked the CatFriends rep.

“Oh, Sophia Loren doesn’t like other cats,” she answered.

Sophia Loren looked at me, sitting there as if she was perched like a queen on her throne. When I picked her up, she just looked at me. I was in love.

We took her home and patiently waited the three to four weeks it takes for a cat to decide you will do as a family. We were making good progress, until one day I came home and Sophia Loren wasn’t anywhere to be found.

I looked everywhere in my apartment, under everything and through all my closets. The house was dead silent. All of my windows were shut; there was no way she could have gotten out, so she must have died in my apartment somewhere, I reasoned. It was difficult to see under or behind every nook and cranny, as I have a ton of furniture and bookshelves and places for a cat to hide, and Sophia Loren was very small. I hoped that she was just hiding and would come out when she was hungry.

After a few weeks with her food untouched and no sign of her, I just knew she was dead somewhere in my apartment. It was the worst feeling, and every day when I came home, I looked and looked. My friends who have pets came over to help, prepared to find the worst. Nothing.

Just when I had started to accept her death and adjust to a world without her, to my pleasant surprise, a few days later, while I was sitting on my couch talking on the phone, I heard her meowing right beneath me.

SOPHIA LOREN! I looked out my window and there she was, in the garden just next door, a wonderland of roses, French furniture and caged rabbits – basically, a Garden of Eden for a cat. She was just next door the entire time, and only when she heard my voice did she decided to let me know she was OK. I ran outside to get her.

Five years later, I let her go outside when she wants, mainly so she can perch on my porch and watch the world go by, growling at any other cats that try to come near her. I use a Human-to-Cat Translator app to try to talk to her, but I think she is human and doesn’t really need it. It’s more for my entertainment than hers.

@SUPERCW

Christa Wittmier is “SUPERCW” on all social media. Find her on Snapchat, Soundcloud, Twitter, Vine and Instagram. By night, she is known as DJ SuperCW. By day, she is known as senior marketing director for Young’s Market Company of Hawaii. Her nightlife blog SuperCity runs every Wednesday on HonoluluPulse.com.