Reel-View Ratings: The Bigger The Beard, The Better The Movie
BLAIR WITCH
It’s a week for long-gestating sequels at the box office with this return to the Black Hills. A group of amateur filmmakers once again heads to the haunted woods to unravel its mysteries, this time with much more technologically advanced cameras and drones. But while the tech may have evolved, the themes have stagnated. Blair Witch is caught between its snazzy new cameras and its nostalgia for its shaky, blurry cams of yore. Its themes fail to update for the 21st century — the age of the selfie surely has different fears and anxieties than it did when Blair Witch Project championed the new genre. Now, it’s just … run of the mill, despite its occasional scares.
Opens Sept. 16 in wide release
BRIDGET JONES’S BABY
A decade later, Bridget Jones is still funny. No, she’s not quite on the edge of the cultural zeitgeist like she was so long ago in Bridget Jones’s Diary, but she’s still relatable in her 40-something womanly woes. This time, she’s pregnant and not sure who the father is: her longtime love Mark Darcy (Colin Firth) or the handsome tech whiz Jack Qwant (Patrick Dempsey). Naturally she gets into all kinds of hijinks as she tries to navigate her new status quo. If the movie has a flaw it’s just that it’s … fine. It’s not Diary, and maybe that’s the whole problem. It’s nostalgic and fun, but it doesn’t stick the landing.
Opens Sept. 16 in wide release
MR. CHURCH
A beautiful (white) woman dying of cancer and her young daughter one day find that her dead ex-lover has paid a preternaturally talented (black) man to cook for her for the rest of her life. Mr. Church is well-read, an amazing chef, full of wisdom and secrets … and played by Eddie Murphy, using exactly none of his charisma. Does this smell like a “magical negro” cliche to you? Sure as grits frying in the morning, it does. It’s a shallow little film that never gives anyone any semblance of personality beyond a list of glib traits. Little surprise that this film’s director, Bruce Beresford, also did that incredibly progressive film, Driving Miss Daisy.
Opens Sept. 16 at Kahala Theatre
