Not Getting On Board With These Passengers

‘PASSENGERS’ TRAILER REVIEW

The Starship Avalon is in the midst of its 120-year journey to a distant space colony, when two of the people on board, Jim (Chris Pratt) and Aurora (Jennifer Lawrence), wake up 90 years too soon. Things look even grimmer when the ship begins to malfunction and it’s up to them to save everyone. While this movie looks exciting, we’re not sure we can get past certain problematic plot points. Passengers opened in wide release Dec. 21.

JAIMIE: This movie looks much too stressful to watch on Christmas, or ever.

PAIGE: Movies that focus intimately on just one or two characters require those actors to be enormously charismatic and likable. So you can see where the idea that Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence would be great choices come from, though recent events have tarnished both. Fun fact: This movie was originally supposed to star Keanu Reeves and Reese Witherspoon, which somehow I think I would have liked to see more.

CHRISTINA: I was actually kind of looking forward to this movie — the concept is intriguing — but I still have a bad taste about Jennifer Lawrence after her whole “ancestors and whatever” speech about sacred rocks here. Seriously, what the hell? She knew the rocks had meaning, even if she didn’t believe in it, and still went ahead and acted disrespectfully — and then told the story on TV and acted like it was the funniest thing in the world.

NICOLE: I agree on the “butt-scratching” rock. I know she was drinking and having a good time, but as a public figure I would think she would be more wary of what she says, you know, to protect her down-to-earth image. People received her really well up until that interview.

JAIMIE: I was reading a few movie reviews, and there’s a lot of information that isn’t included in the trailer that kind of just turns it into a different movie entirely … (Spoiler alert) The asteroid hits, and that is how Chris Pratt is awakened. He finds out that there are still 90 years left on the journey, and then obviously gets bored. I guess he sees Jennifer Lawrence, thinks she is hot and then — because he is the only person awake and only has a robot Michael Sheen to talk to — decides to somehow wake her up. And therein lies my problem with the movie. What the hell, Chris Pratt. Waking a girl up just because you think she is pretty so that she can die with you sometime in the next 90 years before the ship lands.

CHRISTINA: I didn’t catch that in the trailer and didn’t know it until I read a review — I think they are purposely hiding that fact in the marketing. People are going to come in thinking they are going to see one thing, and then realize that Pratt’s character is a creep.

I also didn’t notice the first time I watched the trailer that Chris Pratt is definitely giving off some serious creeper vibes. He has this crazed look in his eyes when he’s looking at her.

PAIGE: A movie about a douche who decides to condemn a woman to death because he’s bored and she’s hot is not a terrible premise if you take it head on. You’ve got to embrace that problematic part, and you’ve got to embrace it all the way to the end. This movie is not going to do that. They will fall in love and she will forgive his grade-A dick move and everything will be like, what. #truelove

CHRISTINA: I would still see this. I am curious to see how they try to get off the ship. But my current hatred for Jennifer Lawrence might get in the way of my enjoyment of it. Although at least that way, I guess I won’t feel so bad if they die.